The Best Of Me

It has happened again.. everything all over again.. the ups and downs of relationships.. the ups and downs of careers...its happening all over again.. shattered glass and picking up the pieces.. falling down and getting back up again...and after the rain.. comes the rainbow...

Depending how I look at things.. I never want to stay stagnant for too long.. I am never that kind of person.. neither too ambitious or too laid back.. change is good.. I accept and embrace change.. for change is the only constant..to me that is the only defense for survival..for everything changes.. addresses... status...partners...even your parents may change...how could you stay unaffected? You don't... you need to change as well.. then only you could accept them...

Decisions. I have made a few within this month. Major ones. Life changing decisions. How easily I make them is as easy as how easily I change. Scary? I might be. . [So take me as I am This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man (or woman) Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous And I'm going to extremes Tomorrow I will change and today won't mean a thing- Bitch - Meredith Brooks] Suddenly I'm reminded of her song.

It probably hasn't hit me home yet, what should I be proud of? What have I achieved all this while...? Hmm.. there's probably a lot of people who ask this question to themselves everyday, I might not be one of them. I just live my life, day by day, neglecting to think about the future, it might probably hit me when I'm 40. I would hope I'll still be a faboulous hot woman at 40...life begins for men at 40 ... so why would it be differet for women..could I dare say it? I am different I guess, not as conventional or traditional as I thought I was.

A new dawn has come, a new day begins, next year is going to be brighter than this year, next year going to be better, for me, something has changed within me, why should life be lived for others? They might want to see us happy, but do they really know what would make us happy? Unfortunately they might never know, they will never know, what dwells, beneath, our deep dark, twisted, thoughts?? How they wish they knew.

I also would like to offer my condolences to my ex-colleagues who are also facing change at this moment, what can I say, I have been through what they have been through, a few times to be exact, I'm reminded of Alanis song, Ironic


It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
And who would've thought it figures
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face

So you might be with me, or you might not, you might have totally strong views against my train of thoughts, but that's the difference between you and me, I am my own person, I guess, after all this while, I know this might sound cliche, I'm finally beginning to know, who I really am.

Dedicated to.......
You are you're own person, a magnificent, wonderful beautiful person
With a pure heart, you always put other people's needs first rather than your own
At often time, you feel frustrated at yourself for not being able to help them more
Believe it or not, you have such innocent childlike eyes
Sometimes full of wonder, and often time, full of passion
You are very confident and sure of yourself,
Never have I seen someone who is
Incredibly smart, unpredictable, equipped with a sharp tongue and wit
You keep me mesmerized with your incredible humor
You keep on asking where have I been all your life
I should be asking you the same thing
And you keep on saying I am your soulmate
I am also telling you the same thing
I am grateful fate has brought us together
And these few months have been the happiest times in my life
You make me alive again...
Breathe again...
My angel...